Things I’m giving up for Lent
Every year, I’m asked the same question by friends who should know me better:
“What are you giving up for lent?”
I was raised Southern Baptist, so admittedly, I find the whole idea of giving up something I derive pleasure from for 40 days as an homage to the suffering of Jesus, a little on the soft side. After all, no one represses a lifetime of “worldly” pleasures like the Southern Baptists. (Except casseroles, of course. Those people are crazy for casseroles.)
Anyway, my answer is usually something most would consider off-putting:
“Peeing in the shower while my wife is in there.”
“Bow-hunting alley cats.”
…or the ever favorite,
“Stalking you.”
But not this year. Being married to a Catholic, I’ve decided to embrace the idea of giving up a few things I enjoy doing for the next 40 days as a way to better myself. So without further adieu, below is a list of things I’m going to try to give up for Lent. I’ll let you know how it’s going in a week or so.
- Listening to so much Stacy Q.
- Drinking flat pop (or soda or Coke or whatever the hell you call it).
- Being offended when people don’t know who “J-Bird” is.
- Referring to myself as “J-Bird.”
- Eagerly telling black people about my New Year’s resolution to make more black friends.
- Lying to my wife about how late I sleep in each morning.
- Acting like I understand a word the lady at Dunkin Donuts is saying.
- Making small talk with the lady at Dunkin Donuts.
- Using the word “pianist” in everyday conversation just to make myself laugh.
- Complaining about the price of my $4 High Life.
- Going to bars where High Life costs $4.
- Flossing.
What are you giving up for lent?
